Announcing My New Blog-Recovery Rising

Please take note of my newest blog over on Blogger.  It is called Recovery Rising.

www.recoveryrising.blogspot.com

I will be spending most of my time over on that blog sharing about personal recovery and finding the authenic self.  Please have a look at it especially if you are on a recovery/self-healing path.

Thank you for stopping by My Dreams Are My Life.

Please feel free to browse past blog posts.

Enjoy.

Love,

Kristianna

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There Can Never Be a More Beautiful You….

For a good 12 years now I have watched core beliefs and core issues pass by me.  I have gone to some of the darkest places, most painful places within me and have spent many days and night seething with a white hot anger that coarsed through my veins as I walked down the unknown path of facing my past and allowing myself to feel, deal, and finally heal.

These past few weeks have been the most intense and painful that I have experienced since my healing adventure began all those years ago.  And I have experienced some serious dark knights of the soul.

I am in the center of my whole core belief system now.  It has taken me all these years to be able to write down in one sentence the reason for why I have viewed myself the way I have for all these years.  The reason I have attracted the people and situations into my life to reinforce this belief and keep me locked in this strange reality.  I am now in the center and it is amazing, yet, terrifying.  I am doing the work I need too in a gentle way to heal this now.  One song that I have been playing everyday is  A More Beautiful You, by Jonny Diaz.

I play this song often in my Recovery Class and there usually is one or two students who experience a shedding of a tear or two.  I decided recently to include it in my daily yoga practice. It has been a gift from my higher power.  I am now hearing this song on a whole different level.  I understand why the tears of students fell so easily.  I wonder how he found out about my life and created a song from it?:)

I could say every morning tears are flowing from my eyes,but, it is much deeper than that.  They are flowing from my core.  That place where my “inner child” resides.  The tears are flowing as I type this.  They are so cleansing.

That place where all my hurts, all my neglects, my shame, my buried emotions, my longing for self-love.  The part of me that grieves for the past I cannot change, and mourns for what will never be.  That little girl who was lonely and lost and felt nobody loved her,and, when she turned to me I ran away from her too.

That little girl who wants her Mom to wrap her arms around her and tell her she loves her and her Dad to hold her in his arms.  That little girl who mourns for her sister that left years ago and a brother she hardly knows.  That little girl who still doesn’t trust me or understand why I abused her for so many years or let others abuse her for so long.

That little girl I would call ugly by starving myself, plucking myself, not looking in the mirror, abusing my body, and not letting her feel.

Although I have released much shame about my past I still carry the weight around wondering if I am worth anything.  The lyrics of this songs in just a few short lines have somehow allowed me to feel more of the weight lift off my shoulders and something whispers in my ear, My soul is beautiful and I am worthy.  There is something that loves me.  That I can turn over my past, my pain, my shame, and know that I am the beautiful perfect little girl I was born as.

Why do I write this?  I am in the recovery world.  I hear people speak about their process.  I see peoples bodies release pain every week in the Recovery Class.  I talk to people who still won’t face their pain, and, I witness some cracks of emotion spill through the most hardened  of people.

I hear about women who are healing from their past,and, women who are finding a new appreciation for their bodies they spent years abusing.  I am on this same path.  When I know I am not alone it makes everything easier.

My “inner child” needs my love.  She does not need my abuse.  She does not need me to intoxicate her, numb her through drugs, stuff down her feelings with food, or abuse her in harmful situations.  She needs to know her body is beautiful just as it is.  She needs to know she is worth feeding good foods to, and, wrapping my arms around her.  She needs me to validate her feelings and stare lovingly into the mirror and not turn away in shame.
She needs to know she is magical.  She needs to know she is love.   She needs to know she is the- I AM.

She wants me to once again see through the eyes of a little girl………………..

Please take a moment and read these lyrics and if you have a chance watch one of the many You Tube Videos.  This one is my favorite.

More Beautiful You Lyrics

Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine

Says she wants to look that way

But her hair isn’t straight her body isn’t fake

And she’s always felt overweight

Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see

That beauty is within your heart

And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair

Are perfect just the way they are

Little Girl Fourteen

There could never be a more beautiful you

Don’t buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through

You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do

So there could never be a more beautiful you

Little girl twenty-one the things that you’ve already done

Anything to get ahead

And you say you’ve got a man but he’s got another plan

Only wants what you will do instead

Little Girl Twenty One

Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come

You starve yourself to play the part

But I can promise you there’s a man whose love is true

And he’ll treat you like the jewel you are


So turn around you’re not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It’s not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who’s strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you’ll see through the eyes of a little girl…..

Little Kristy

There Can Never Be A More Beautiful You!

For The “Juicy Ones”: Dr. Joel Fuhrman On Toxic Hunger and Food Addiction

To the “juicy” ones who are in their “Setting Up For Success” pre-phase I would like to share this with you.  I was so tickled by the response I received yesterday.  Today I would like to share an excerpt from Dr. Joel Furhmans book, Eat For Health, about Toxic Hunger and Food Addiction.  You may run into this as your body kicks into its detoxification mode. When this happens just remember the following excerpts from the book, Eat For Health by Dr. Joel Fuhrman.

Eat For Health, Chapter 9, The Complexities of Hunger

When a heavy coffee drinker stops drinking coffee, he feels ill, experiencing headaches and weakness, and even feels nervous and shaky.  Fortunately these symptoms resolve over 4-6 days.  Discomfort after stopping an addictive substance is called withdrawal, and is significant because it represents detoxification, or biochemical healing that is accomplished as the substance is withdrawn.  It is nearly impossible to cleanse the body of a harmful substance without experiencing the discomfort of withdrawals.  Humans have a tendency to want to avoid discomfort, so they continue toxic habits to avoid the unpleasant withdrawal symptoms.  When we discontinue consuming healthy substances such as, broccoli and spinach, we do not experience discomfort.  We feel nothing.  Only unhealthful, toxic substances are addicting, and, therefore these are the only substances that cause discomfort when you stop consuming them.  Their addictive potential is proportional to their toxicity.

Uncomfortable sensations are very often the signals that repair is under way and the removal of toxins is occurring.  Though it may be uncomfortable to adjust to that way of thinking, feeling ill temporarily can be seen as a sign that you are getting well.  That cup of coffee may make you feel better temporarily, but any stimulating substance that makes you feel better quickly, or gives you immediate energy, is hurtful, not healthful.  Any substance that has an immediate effect is toxic and called a stimulant.  Healthy foods do not induce stimulation.  When you meet your needs for nutrients and sleep your body will feel well and fully energized, without the need for stimulation.

The heavy coffee drinker typically feels the worst upon waking in the morning or delaying or skipping a meal.  The same is true for people addicted to toxic foods.  The body goes through withdrawal, or detoxification, most strongly when it is not busy digesting food.  Eating stops withdrawal because detoxification cannot take place efficiently while food is being consumed and digested.  A heavy meal will stop the discomfort or the cup of coffee will alleviate symptoms, but the cycle of withdrawal will begin again the minute the caffeine level drops or digestion is finished and the glucose level in the blood starts to go down.

The more you  search for fast , temporary relief with a candy bar, a can of soda, a bag of chips, the more you inhibit the healing detoxification process.  Then your body becomes toxic because you gave it more low-nutrient calories.  Calories consumed without the accompanying nutrients that aid in assimilation and metabolism lead to build up of toxic substances in the cells that promote cellular aging and disease.

Eating For Health, Chapter 9, Page 108

Toxic Hunger

Detoxifying your body, after years of poor diet, can be difficult.  This is primarily because people often think that, since eating makes them feel better, the symptoms of detoxification they are feeling are actually hunger.  This leads to one continuous eating binge all day.  It is no wonder that 80 percent of Americans are overweight.  Every few hours they are compelled to put something in their mouths.  They may feel better temporarily from that chocolate-chip cookie or pretzel, but they never really get rid of the uncomfortable symptoms.  The toxic hunger will recur whenever digestion ceases, not when an individual is truly hungry and has a biological need for calories.  Toxic hunger comes to haunt you every time your digestive apparatus is no longer busy digesting.  We need a digestive rest between meals so the body can focus on cleaning.  essentially, we become addicted to the toxicity of our diet and are driven to overeat simply to feel normal.

Food Addiction affects almost all of the American population.  Once you address your addictions and use this knowledge to help yourself through the detoxification process, you will be able to more easily, efficiently, and pleasantly address your nutrient and caloric requirements.  Unless people are informed, they mistake the withdrawal symptoms they feel for hunger, or claim they have hypoglycemia and they simply can’t stop eating so frequently and too much.

Toxic Hunger is a physical addiction to an unhealthy, low-micronutrient diet.  It’s symptoms are generally feelings that we have been taught to interpret as hunger.  However, they are actually signs of your body’s toxicity?

Symptoms of Toxic Hunger

*Headaches

*Weakness

*Stomach Cramping

*Light headedness

*Esophageal spasms

*Growling Stomach

*Irritability

These uncomfortable symptoms are experienced to different degrees by different individuals.  Sugary foods with a high glycemic index fuel these symptoms and the toxic hunger frenzy, but consuming to many animal products can too.  Americans are now accustomed to eating animal products including beef, chicken, eggs, and cheese at every meal, but eating high quantities of these high protein foods can overload the livers ability to eliminate excessive nitrogenous wastes.  Our excessive consumption of animal proteins and the elevated amount of waste products put a stress on your bodies detoxification channels and you wind up not feeling well-or detoxifying more between meals.  It is not unusual to find people forced to eat a diet rich in protein and animal products.  Otherwise, they feel to ill.  They must remain on the binge all day.  They feel terrible if they try to stop eating high protein foods or delay eating.

These individuals may feel better when eating animal products at regularly spaced intervals and avoiding a light, low-protein meal, but this is the same as drinking coffee to feel better.  It leads to more and more addictive symptoms and they never get better.  Just like the caffeine addict you may feel worse for a short time for these symptoms to resolve.  even though overeating of animal protein causes the problem, the high-protein food also temporarily allows them to feel better and to feel better longer after the meal because high-protein meals take longer to digest.

Eating again to remove the uncomfortable feelings never gets you off the over-eating merry-go-round.  You can have another cup of coffee or slice of cheese in an attempt to feel better, but it is this cycle that caused you to become overweight and suffer ill feelings in the first place.  To get rid of toxic hunger symptoms that drive overeating behavior, you may have to feel uncomfortable for a few days to resolve the issue.

From Kristianna:

I wanted to share this with you because I completely relate to the above excerpts.  Nobody wants to easily admit they may be addicted to something such as food, sugar, caffeine.  That title is just reserved for the junkie on the street, right?  Wrong.

It is sad to me that people don’t take caffeine and sugar addiction seriously.  I can remember someone seeking help for caffeine addiction in meetings where addiction was why everyone was there,and, this person getting made fun of.  Sadly, I was one of those people who talked behind this persons back.  Even more sad is I was in the throes of my own addiction to caffeine.  As I look back and remember this persons struggles and frustrations I completely understand.  I understand what Buddha says about compassion.  I had to go through my own suffering in order to understand another.  I now have great compassion for people who are strong enough to admit they are addicted to sugar, caffeine and food.

I share this blog with you as I know some of you are about to allow your bodies to begin releasing the old.  I share this with you so you know what will be happening.

I share with you that when you start giving your bodies nutrient packed calories your world will change.  It is amazing what the body is crying out for.

If anyone is interested in learning more about a High Fiber High Nutrient Plant Based way of eating that still allows for minimal animal proteins please check out the book  Eat For Health by Dr. Joel Fuhrman.  It is actually two books in one.  It works on the mind, the emotions, the body,  provides great nutrition education, and amazing recipes.  This is not a fad diet.  It is a way of eating that nourishes your body, assists you in maintaining your proper weight, and builds a disease free body.

You can also visit his website at:  www.drfuhrman.com

Happy Setting Yourself Up For Success Weekend!

Love, Kristianna

A Note To Those About To Take A Juicy Journey Back Home To Their Bodies!

The other morning I was on the phone in the kitchen when my husband, Paul, came in grabbed a box from the cupboard that contained a 14 Day Organic Herbal cleanse and proceeded to open it.  I immediately put my hand on the box, signaled for him to wait, and hung up the phone. I asked him”What are you doing? and he said, ” I want to start this cleanse.” I said, ” Okay, but before you do can we sit down and talk?”  And we did.

If you are experienced at cleansing then perhaps you can just jump right in and there is no need to read this blog post.  For those of you who have never embarked on the journey of a cleanse, particularly a juice cleanse, please read.

An internal cleansing of the body is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.  It is not easy by any means, but, with enough preparation it can be done.  Depending on how toxic your are within will determine the intensity of your detox symptoms.   The whole time you are cleansing you are experiencing detox symptoms, but, the most intense usually last between the first 1-3 days.  After that you are on your way.  I describe those first few days as your “make it or break it days.”  Those are the days that will test you on just how dedicated you are to yourself.

Do you Remember the scene from the movie Castaway?  Do you recall the scene where Tom Hanks is finally getting off the island.  He waited  until the perfect time of year when the winds were going in the right direction,  planned, prepared, and thought about every detail including what he was going to need to build on his raft to give him every successful chance of getting through the surf and into the vast ocean. When that day came he took his raft into the ocean, floated head on into the pounding waves.  He was running into some trouble and could have turned back, but, he prepared his raft with an accessory to work with the wind to get him over the crashing waves.  It was turbulent and scary but he stuck through it and eventually he got to the other side and was on his way home.  That is how I view the first days of a cleanse.

A cleanse can bring you back home to your body.  Years and years of toxins from refined sugars, fats, caffeine, nicotine, drugs, alcohol, meat, environmental toxins, emotional toxins, and the Standard American outdated Diet (SAD) are stored within your body.  These toxins weaken your nervous system, create a haze within the brain, keep you emotionally imbalanced, and numb you from being able to listen to what your body is crying out for you to do. Our bodies know what they need.  We are just to bogged down in toxins to be able to listen.

I have been contacted by several people inquiring about juice fasting.  I know of a few who are preparing to embark on their own personal journeys.  Instead of writing each person and repeating the same thing I decided to blog about it.  Let me remind anyone reading this first of all I am not an expert.  I just did the research, contacted those around me with experience, and read my juicing books everyday.

What I have to share is from my own personal experience and the steps I took that allowed me to succeed far beyond what I ever expected…… changing my life.

The Setting Up For Success Phase:

1.  Get a journal.  Anything.  A spiral notebook.  A fancy moleskin.  Whatever.  Sit down at a time when you aren’t going to be disturbed or have to rush anywhere.  Take a couple of deep breaths and think about all the reasons you are considering going on a cleansing journey.  Write down everything from the way you feel mentally, physically, and emotionally.  Create Strong intentions.  Strong intentions.  Get honest.  Get Creative.  Get Simple and to the point.

I wrote in my previous blog about how I embraced a moment at Whole Foods when I was feeling absolutely horrid from the inside out.  I wanted to remember every feeling I was having in that moment because I never wanted to feel that way again.  Well that little moment of complete awareness got me through a couple of pretty intense times in the first couple of days. The image of what I wanted to look and FEEL like carried me through a pretty intense headache.  I had strong intentions set and those intentions carried me through the crashing waves of those early days.

What do you want to look like?  How do want to feel?  All of these images will be important tools to use when a huge wave may be pounding on your body!

2.  Set your start date.  I know some people think that doing it this way is just prolonging the event and they would rather jump in.  Everybody is different.  This way worked for me.  This gave me a chance to set the date I was going to start my “entry phase” and allowed me to get the supplies I would need and gather my support team.  Consider the time of year and any events going on in your life.  Do you want to be cleansing during the holidays?  Consider starting on a weekend or whenever you hve 2 or 3 days off in a row to start your cleanse.

Set a goal date to end.  I chose 10 days. That came down from 30 days:)  You can choose any amount of days.  3 or 5 or 10 whatever you feel is best.  Reboot Your Life.com has great programs you can follow.  They include an entry phase, a 3 or 5 day cleanse and an exit phase. It is all about taking it one day at a time.  Day 10 turned out to me my “break open day” and after that day my body just flowed with the juice cleanse.  It needed to cleanse more.  Each day  after Day 10 I gave myself the choice to stop or go another day.  I went until Day 15.  Set a reasonable goal.

Also think about what you want to happen after the cleanse is over.  Is this a true life change or just a seasonal cleanse.  Begin to think about that and what steps you may need to continue the life shift.

3.  Gather a support team.  Support=Success.   In my preparation period I let certain trusted friends know what I was doing and asked if they would be part of my support team.  I thought about what other support I needed to assist and care for my body through this time of release.  I contacted my favorite local energy healer,  set up colonic sessions, and joined online support groups.

4.  Assist your Body–  Research other ways you can assist your body in the detoxifying process.  You can help your body release toxins by:

–  Dry brushing your skin before you enter the shower.

–  A cold shower is an excellent detoxification tool to flush the organs of toxins and replenish them with fresh blood along with changing your glandular secretions.

–  Utilizing Pranayama (breathing techniques) such as Long Deep Conscious Breathing (inhale 7 secs. hold 7 secs. exhale 7 secs.) 7-10 times or Breath of Fire.  See video to the left of blog post.  The breathing will help move toxins out of your lungs and blood and assist with moving through addictive urges.

– Choose light exercises while on a cleanse.  You want your energy to be within your digestive system helping to move out all the backed up, built up wastes you have been carrying around.  Choose exercises that will support your bodies detoxification processes.  There are several hatha yoga postures as well as Kundalini Yoga sets that support detox.

– DRINK PLENTY OF FILTERED WATER

5.  Meditation and Mantra is very helpful.  Mantra will help refocus your thoughts and change the way you feel while going through tough times.  Meditation can also assist you in gaining control over your mind and balancing that internal battle a lot of people have:  Physical Vs. Mental Vs. Emotional.  You know the, “I want to be healthy but something in me always fights it.”  I used a specific meditation for that inner conflict and it has added to not only the success of my juice fast but the shift within me towards living healthy.

6.  Choose juice combinations that appeal to you.  At this point you should have bought or checked books out of the library about juicing  and started writing some recipes down. Learn about what the benefits of each vegetable are and create your own cocktails specific to your cleansing needs.  DO NOT OVERDO THE FRUIT JUICE.   Just because it is juice does not mean anything goes.  Fruit may not be refined sugar but it is still sugar.  Balance out your intake.  I stuck to using green apples (low in sugar) and lemons.

In the beginning I used a lot of carrots apples and beets as I was focusing on my liver.  I cut way back after a couple of days and shifted to green drinks.  Your tastes will change as your brain reboots.  What you never thought you would like may suddenly become the greatest tasting vegetable ever.  I hated cucumbers before the cleanse and now I like them. Remember carrots are high in sugar too.  Just balance.

7.  Stock up on electrolyte supplements.  That was a comment I would hear from people.  “Oh that is so dangerous you have to think about your blood sugar.”  Usually that was followed by their own fear of cleansing by commenting, “I could never do that.  My blood sugar would drop.”  Hey that’s valid and very important to think about.  If you are hyper or hypo glycemic of course you are going to consult a physician before doing this.  This may not be suitable for certain people.  I did my research thus I was prepared.  My first 3-4 days I had plenty of coconut water available.  I took it with me everywhere.  It helped.  Yes. My blood sugar levels would dip.  I was prepared.  The wave did not knock me down.  When it would hit I would drink the coconut water and it balanced.

When I got tired of the water and felt I needed something more I made up a batch of potassium sodium mineral water AKA vegetable broth.  Talk about heavenly to drink in the middle of a cleanse!  Be careful when preparing as the smell of the fresh veggies filling your house will test you.   If you already have been cooking for others it shouldn’t be as bad.   Don’t forget the electrolytes!  Be prepared.

8.  Think about fiber supplements or other ways you may need to assist your elimination process. Think about colonics, enemas, and teas that may be right for your body.  And don’t forget the probiotics.  You will be losing good bacteria along with the bad.  You want to replace the good bacteria in your intestinal tract.  Also if the usual comment comes up from a concerned family member or friend, “Oh your cleansing? Well, that is just bad for you! Don’t you know that takes away your good bacteria!”  You can say, “Yes. I know. I am prepared!  I got it covered!”

ENTRY PHASE

During your prep phase you should be cutting down on the caffeinated beverages  junk foods, meats, etc.  You can go cold turkey if you want. I don’t suggest it. It is all up to you. This is why you set your date.  Slowly introduce juice into your system.  It can be potent at first.  Start each day with a small juice and  build it up to more.

I set my date for Sept. 1st.  This was the day I was going to go totally “juicy”.  I began my entry phase 3 days prior and my Setting Up For Success phase days before. I increased my juice intake each day and decreased my food intake. When it came to my all out “juicy” day   I did not want solid food anymore.  I was ready.   There are many resources out there to help you prepare for this entry phase.  They should be in your juice fasting books.

Don’t forget to journal through out your journey.  It is a personal journey.  Your journey will not be like mine.  Your awareness will be different than mine.  It is so exciting and life altering you do not want to forget the experience.  The ups the downs the pains and the discoveries.  It is living life to its fullest.  Learn from this beautiful experience and one day you may be sharing with others in your circle looking for inspiration and support.

JUICE PHASE

All I have to say for this phase is create a routine!

Always have veggies and fruits available so you don’t run into a pitfall of nothing to juice!

Call for support.  Let someone know how you are feeling.  Get it out.

Treat yourself with love.  You will be in an intimate vulnerable state.  Take epsom salt baths for any aches, create a healing loving enviroment for yourself.  Take a break from the world as much as you can.  This is a time for you.

Get a massage…this assists in moving the toxins out and feels good!

You may cry and get emotional.  Don’t suppress this.  Buried feeling are being released.  You may feel lonely, angry, frustrated.  Just go with it.  Scream.  Scream some more.  Your subconscious will mess with you.  Your mind will want its fix and try to take control.  You will want your normal routines that are associated with food or drink.  Use your tools.  Do you want the familiar path or do you want the exciting new path.  Read my past blogs.  I had tools for these situations. The most intense painful moments can end up being your most profound life changing moments.

Pray, Surrender, and Let Grace come in…..

Don’t give up!

EXIT PHASE

When you reached your goal or you heard the calling of your body that is was time to end the cleanse prepare for your exit phase.  I started really craving avocados and almonds the day I knew it was time to stop.  I wasn’t hungry.  It was just a strong inner knowing.  My body was craving fat.  What is remarkable is the very day I got that “knowing” I weighed myself.  I had dropped 16 lbs and was at the exact weight I was supposed to be at for my frame.  The body knows what to do if we just listen!  If I would have continued I would have been going on ego and crossing into the unhealthy realm.

Be sure to  start your exit phase by eating high water content fruits only.  It is important you do not throw back a huge salad or a bowl of beans or a burger.  Your stomach has taken a rest and the digestive enzymes need stimulated.  Slowly wake your stomach back up.  I started the first day with just taking a few bites of a watermelon.  The second day I ate watermelon and apples.  The third day I drank a smoothie with almond milk.  The fourth day I made a veggie soup and was super excited to eat the vegetables.  I took it nice and slow for 5 days.  I am still not eating whole nuts or beans.  I will soon.

So my husband is wanting to embark on his own journey now.  I did not suggest it to him or coerce him in any way.  He came home and was blown away with how I have changed.  Eating foods that heal instead of steal from me is a priority in my life.  That is what he noticed and inspired him. It is in my core now.  So we sat down and talked and I shared everything with him that I just wrote above.  If he wants what I have in the way that is for his highest and best good he needs to set himself up for success.  He has set his date and this weekend we are watching Fat Sick and Nearly Dead together.  Monday we are beginning a Eat Healthy Class at Whole Foods.  He is ready for his Set Up For Success Phase!

So I will end the blog with this …..

I was completely addicted to caffeine and high fat foods.  This was not easy.  My intake of caffeine was equivalent to an everyday coffee drinker.  It was destroying my nervous system and my liver will be detoxing for another 30 days now as I shift into a liver specific detox.   I have no desire for caffeine.  None.  The levels of energy and health I have touched and want to keep are far more uplifting that any false energy caffeine gave me.  My body was screaming for nutrients and the caffeine was stripping them from me causing an emotional and energetic roller coaster.  Caffeine is a drug.

I know some of you out there are struggling with this very thing.  Others are struggling with sugar. Both are drugs.  I want neither and I was addicted to both.  Your body is screaming for nutrients.  Juice is the most potent way to get them into your body.

My personal experiences have led me deeper into the world of nutrition and recovery.  I had no idea the things that happened to me during this cleanse would raise my awareness to the importance of nutrition and addictive behaviors.  This journey was so much more than I could ever have imagined.  All I had to do was plan, prepare, and connect to the love with in myself and know that a power greater than me would have my back.

I thank everyone who was there for me during those 18 days.  I thank everyone on the Reboot Your Life Community. I thank my mom for not lecturing me.  I thank Joe Cross for his “glow” and amazing bravery.  I thank Dr. Joel Fuhrman for his amazing research into a way of eating that creates health not dis-ease.  I thank all the support from Facebook and I thank the light of self- love within me that guides my way always.  I feel truly alive!

I send you nothing but support and loving energy on your journey and if there is anything  I may be able to help you with please contact me.  If I can help I will and if I can’t I will refer you to someone who can.

Here is to your “juicy”  journey to vibrant health and a whole new you from the inside-out!!  Glow Baby:)

Just for Today… I Will Love My Body From The Inside Out!

Building a Relationship with the Body from the Inside out……….takes time!

In these past 13 days I have had 3 profound awakening experiences that have allowed me to understand and relate to my body on a deeper level.

I knew embarking on this juice cleanse would take me out of my comfort zone and unleash many emotional and physical toxins I would have to look at and release. I knew I would go through many changes.  As any trip goes it is really about the journey and not the actual destination.

I am now on Day 13 of my Juice Flush.  I gave myself the goal of 10 days as I did not want to set myself up to fail.  I have given myself the option of shifting back into eating after Day 10 and so far my body just wants the juice.  I am listening to my body.

Listening to my body is something I thought I did before, but, after this experience I realize I was ignoring the cries of my body.  In fact I have not had a loving relationship with my body since, well, I really don’t know.  I believe I have spent most of my life wanting to escape this body.  Yes, instead of honoring this vessel that was given to me to experience all the colors, sensations, feelings, emotions, tastes, smells, sneezes, movements, and everything else we get to experience on Mother Earth I have spent most of my life abusing it-mentally and physically.

I am on a path of recovery.  This will be a lifelong path.  Currently I am deepening my sense of love for myself and building my self-worth.  I cannot find self-worth through what I do for a living, what I look like on the outside, who I know, or any external forces.  I have to connect to that pure essence of who I am within. That I-AM-ness and fully touch what that feels like so when everything falls away one day and I am left with me.  I AM perfect just as I AM.

On this “juicy” journey I have had many experiences that allowed me to get to know me and experience all of the above.  It has been a true act of self-love to step back and put the time into spending time with me.  I have still had to tend to my everyday affairs, teach, and run a studio. It is after those details are taken care of I spend time with me.  This is not a selfish act.  It is an important step in order to build a healthy relationship with self.  No running away.  No reaching out for anything. No making excuses.  Just being with me.

The following are 3 Profound Moments That I Stopped Off To Experience On My Path of Juiciness…..

 

 

Profound Moment 1:    “My Body Has Been Trying To Talk To Me”

On Day 3 I went into The Turnip Truck, a local health fare store, and purchased a smoothie.  As I was walking out and took the first sip I immediately knew I should not have done it.  While on a juice flush it is important that I don’t drink anything to hot or to cold.  That smoothie was cold!  I was hungry so I got into my car and continued to drink it anyways.  A few minutes later as I was sitting at a stop sign and felt the liquid hitting my stomach.  In that same moment I had overwhelming waves of sadness come over me.  Tears started welling up in my eyes.  I know that being on a cleanse there are moments when the flood gates of emotions randomly open up, but, this was different.  It confused me.  It came out of nowhere.  After a couple of minutes I had my profound moment.  My stomach was sad!  The moment I felt that smoothie enter into my stomach is exactly when I felt the waves of sadness.  My stomach was communicating with me.  It hurt and did not like what I put into it.

That opened my awareness on so many levels.  It got me thinking about all the times I would eat foods and feel sad while doing it.  One thing I know is certain foods do not digest well in my body but I still ate them anyway. So was my stomach trying to talk to me?  Did some of the foods I eat invoke sadness within because my stomach was sad and couldn’t handle what I was putting into it?  When I took all food and mind numbing substances away that is when I could really feel my body.  What a connection!

Profound Moment 2:  “Connecting with my I-AMness”

Last week I posted a Facebook status about my Farmers Market experience.  I hadn’t really left my house very much as I didn’t feel well and cleansing is such an intimate experience that I wanted to be at home a lot.  On Day 7 I went to the East Nashville Farmers Market.  I was excited to get some local organic Kale from Delvin Farms and visit Juice Nashville for my “fast food dinner”.  I didn’t want to put make up on and I didn’t want to mess with my hair.  It just didn’t seem to really matter.  It didn’t matter because of what I was feeling within.  I was feeling this sense of light.  It was something I haven’t felt before.  I felt vibrant.  I felt like I was glowing.  I felt calm and clear.  I felt beautiful.  It didn’t matter that my face was all broken out from detoxing or my hair was pulled back and a scarf thrown over it.  It didn’t matter I was in my pink sweats going to the market by myself.  Every step I took I felt good.  I smiled at everyone.  I talked to the vendors.  I felt connected to everyone.  The true beauty came from how I was feeling inside of myself and radiated out.

Trust me I have tried every hair dye, cream, body treatment, diet, pill, and everything else they love to sell you that will make you beautiful and your life just perfect.  It doesn’t work.  It doesn’t come from the outside in.  Anyone wants to put their money into something that will make you beautiful go spend the money at your local farmers market or the produce section of your grocery store.

Profound Moment 3   “The Mind-Body Connection”

If I teach something in my Recovery Rising Yoga classes I only teach it if I have gone through it or in the process of going through it.  If I have not walked the healing path in some way I have no right to share with others how to heal in that area.  After going on this journey and using the tools I have learned for Substance and Behavioral Abuse I can confidently and with integrity share that these tools really do work.  I am a living testimony.

Here is just a sample:  Day 10 was the hardest of all days.  Not because I was hungry or tired or weak.  In fact it was the opposite.  I had an abundance of energy and was overall feeling good physically.  Mentally….not so much.  I was dreading this day because it was the day I had to, clean my house!   It sounds funny as I type it but it was no laughing matter.  I had been avoiding doing it for over 10 days because I was trying to avoid what I suspected would happen, and it did.

What I went through on this day took me to a whole other level of experiencing addiction.  It gave me a painful awareness of how my everyday routines and habits are tied up with food, drink, etc.  Not just any foods but the “numb me out, rock my nervous system, temporarily get me high, then dump me on my ass foods.”

When I clean my house it is a routine of mine to rest about every 20 minutes to a half hour and snack on something.  It is the classic “reward system.”  It gives me something to look forward to and it gives me comfort.  This time I could not do it.  I had nothing to look forward to while cleaning.  I did make some veggie broth which tasted amazing.  I substituted it for the snacks ,but, it was nowhere near the same.

I went through my day cleaning, but, my mind would not leave me alone.  I suddenly had these visions of everything from pot roast to pizza to lima beans to black beans to Dr. Pepper and everything else I loved to eat and drink throughout my life.  It was awful.  It was no different from me going through my day and not popping a pill or taking a drink.  I have been through both type of detoxs now and I can say there is no difference.

I did not get why I kept seeing these foods in my mind and craving them.  I mean pot roast?  I haven’t had pot roast since high school.  I was not hungry and I checked in with my stomach and she was happy as a lark.  In another amazing moment of clarity and connection I realized that it was all in my mind.  I could feel it all in my mind.  My brain was crying for caffeine and chips and sugar.  My stomach was not.   In that moment I took my yoga recovery tools out the box and got to work.  I used the hand movement and mantra that is taught to help move thoughts up and out and gets to the level of the brain where habits are formed. It also helps to refocus the mind.  I held onto to that hand movement and I chanted over and over.  Even when I was cleaning and couldn’t move my fingers I would keep chanting the mantra, SA TA NA MA.  In between chanting I would practice Breath of Fire.  Over and over.  I would continue to clean through the tears and the frustration.

The act of chanting mantra is an act of repeating high vibrating sacred sounds over and over.  It is scientifically proven that by chanting mantra over a specific period of time it takes the mind and body in to a calm, relaxed state of being.  And it did.

It gave me the time and space to move through what my mind was trying to get me to do and allowed me to understand that I did have a choice.  I could give in or I could allow grace to enter through the mantra and give me peace.

“The mind is here to serve my soul.  I am not here to serve my mind.”  Somehow most of us have given over to being slaves to our minds.  I felt it in every inch of my being.   I will not be a slave.

And my journey continues……….

I have been changed by this experience in some many wonderful ways.  After Day 10 everything is flowing now.  It is easier and I feel like I am with the current of my life.  Whatever shifted for me on Day 10 has made it easier to know when my mind is doing its best to be in control, and, when I am turning it over and inviting spirit to come in and connect me to the truth of what is going on.

When I decide to end the juice flush phase of my cleanse I will shift into raw foods for the rest of the month. I am continuing with my mantra/meditations and incorporating in a yoga set for The Liver, Colon, and Stomach.

As I wind down living this dream I am moving onto to my next dream of learning how to cook.  This wasn’t just some random experiment for me. This was my reboot for building a foundation of good eating patterns for now and the rest of my life.  I want to be able to cook healthy meals for my husband and when I have children I want to be able provide them with the best possible choices for a healthy body and clear mind.  It really is an important foundation for my whole life.

I  have touched the center of what it truly feels like to love my body.  I felt from the inside what those models on the Natural Living Magazines look like on the outside!  I wish I can capture it in a bottle, but, the best I can do is continue to capture it by being aware of what I am putting into my body.  I know it won’t always be like this as I will eat things here and there that aren’t perfect.  Come on.  I am human!  I am certainly not saying I will have perfect eating habits the rest of my life. Ha Ha.  I just have a bit more awareness now.  Awareness is the most important step on a recovery path.  Once we have awareness it is hard to go back to the old way of being.

Just for Today I thank my body for allowing me to experience this adventure called life.  Just For Today I will listen to my body and not my mind.  Just for Today I will love my body…from the inside out!

Breath of Fire Video- A Breathing Technique for “Facing Life on Life’s Terms.”

Would you like a tool to strengthen your nervous system, release stress, detoxify your bloodstream, move you through addictive urges, increase focus and concentration and increase energy?  Read on and watch video!                                                                       

Part of my recovery path has been the practice of  Kundalini Yoga.  This particular path of yoga goes way beyond just focusing on postures.  This path also includes pranayama (breathing techniques), Mantra, and Meditation.  These tools are standard in every class.  It is a deeply healing and transformative practice that is accessible to people of all shapes, sizes, and ages.  It can even be done in a chair.  There is far more to the practice of yoga then most people realize.

The reason I chose this path is because it provides easy tools that can be used pretty much anytime and any place to assist me in bringing myself back to a sense of balance in my hectic everyday life.  It has also done wonders for allowing me to access emotions that I had buried deep within and release them in a short amount of time.  It has raised my awareness about how important it is on a path of recovery to keep check of what I am putting into my body because that has a huge effect on me mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Kundalini Yoga provides amazing tools for people who want to detox, rebuild their nervous systems, alter their brain chemistry, get to the places where habits and addictive behaviors are created, and reconnect to the joy of life.  This is all done through simple breath and meditation techniques.  Today I am sharing about, The Breath of Fire.

When I speak of a “Recovery Path” I speak of anybody who is taking the loving steps to return to their original self.  If you are detoxing from food, caffeine, sugar, nicotine, illegal drugs, alcohol, or anything  that your body freaks out by not having for 1-3 days this breath can help move you through the adjustment period.  It can also work for behavioral addictions  such as shopping, hoarding, anger, etc.

If your body and mind freak out over not having something in your system for 1-3 days you are addicted to it. This goes for people who “use” harmful behavioral patterns too. Sorry to say this to you. It’s true.  If you have realized this and are taking the loving steps to heal and release yourself from the substance or behavior that you know is harming you that is walking a path of “Recovery”.

For anyone who is walking down that sometimes scary path of letting go of those habits that no longer serve, Breath of Fire, can be a helpful tool in your recovery tool box.  I wish I had it back when I was going through my first detox.

I am currently on a Juice Flush.  I have not taken in solid food for 7 days.  It has been difficult and rewarding at the same time.  I love food.  It is comforting.  I can escape into it.  I get pleasure from it.  It is tied to many of my everyday routines.  So what the heck do you think happens when I suddenly don’t have it….physical and emotional freak out!  I am also detoxing from caffeine,which, is something I am addicted too. I have to say taking myself off of food and caffeine at the same time has been harder than detoxing from past drugs.  What has helped me move through……

  BREATH OF FIRE

Breath of Fire is one of the foundational breaths of Kundalini Yoga.  When people are first introduced to it I have found  one or more of the following happens depending on the person’s experience:

1.  They get a strange look on their face because they have never breathed and moved there navel that way.

2.   They begin to breathe backwards which is called Paradoxical Breathing.

3.  They settle into it slowly and start to get it.

4.  They get finished and feel more focused, clear, and energized.

5.  They leave class, never return, and make fun of the breath for the rest of their lives.

Number 5 makes me sad because of the amazing benefits this breath has on our nervous systems, releasing stress, detoxifying our lungs and bloodstream, and moving people through addictive urges.

  Facing Life On Lifes Terms

When we go through some sort of detox whether it be from substances or a harmful behavior are nervous systems can be fragile.  If we have abused certain substances (including caffeine, sugar, and nicotine) then we have abused our nervous systems and they need rebuilt.

While going through a detox period most people still have to go out into the world.  We have kids, work, homes, partners, and friends that still need tended too.  In order to function effectively we need strong nerves.  It is when our nerves are weakened that we get in the danger zone of not being able to handle life when it comes at us.  Breath of Fire gives us the grit while keeping us relaxed.   It assists in rebuilding our nervous systems in the long run and helping us move through our day right now.  You can apply this breath anytime.

I practice it in the car, walking down the street, sitting in my chair at home.  I use it when I am doing something that normally would involve me taking in caffeine or solid food.  It assists me in  consciously feeling the full wave of my addictive urge and letting it ride through me and out like a wave.  It strengthens my nerve endings to give me the grit to move through life, it engages the parasympathetic nervous system which calms me down and takes the stress away, and it brings an increased amount of oxygen into my brain and blood which during those addictive urges the body desperately needs.

Other Benefits of Breath of Fire:

*   Releases toxins and deposits from mucous linings, blood vessels, and other cells

*  Increases physical endurance and prepares you to act effectively

* Repairs balance between sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system

*  Boosts the immune system

” Five, ten minutes of Breath of Fire is all you need….If you do Breath of Fire, it will cleanse your lungs, and make them healthy.  You will have deep breathing all day, good oxygen in your bloodstream, and you will be young and healthy for a long time.”

“Whenever there is stress, you will use up more oxygen.  You will not be in a position to be handicapped by lack of oxygen if you do Breath of Fire everyday.”

“Breath of Fire is a breath that burns away all diseases and karmas.  They say that about 500 diseases will not come near a person who moves the belly button.”

-All quotes by Yogi Bhajan, Master of Kundalini Yoga

Please click on the upper left side of my blog page for instructions on how to practice Breath of Fire.

Getting your Body Prepared:

* You can practice it cross-legged with palms face up on your knees or you can sit in a chair with palms face up on your thighs.

*  Elongate your spine by pulling in your navel area ( located an inch below belly button) and allow your spine to straighten feeling the top of your head reach the ceiling.

*  Check that your shoulders are relaxed down and back.

*  Relax the face.  Check in that you’re not scrunching your face throughout.

You can practice with me as I will be doing it approx 3 minutes on the video or you can learn it and do it on your own.  Be sure to start slow.  Even inhalation and even exhalation.  I talk about Paradoxical (backwards breathing) and what to do if you experience it so have a listen!

Practice from 3 up to 11 minutes.

*Please do not practice Breath of Fire if you have high blood pressure.   This is not meant to be taken as medical advice. Check with your Primary Care Physician before starting any new health program.

Living my Dream of Becoming “Juicy”! A Path to Vibrant Health.

 “Living My Dream of Becoming “JUICY”!

Okay so this post is going to be a bit long and I know most of us don’t like to read more than a few lines.  I know.  If you are currently going through a “reboot” fast, preparing to start one, or even thinking about making any change in your life  then read on………

Why September 1st Has Great Meaning To Me.

On September 1, 2005 I picked up a white keytag at a 12 step meeting.  This was to state to myself that I was going to abstain from drugs including alcohol (which is a drug) for that day.  I was also asking for the help of the group to assist me in this commitment.  One month later on  September 30 I had a slip up and drank a bit to much wine during a pre-shift meeting at the restaurant I was working at.  I felt that familiar alcohol rush and it scared me.  It ended up they didn’t need me at that shift and I was free to leave.  In that moment I had a choice.  I could go to a local bar and make it a relapse to remember or I could use the tools I had learned and get on the phone and start calling for support.  I chose to call for support.  I was in a meeting that night and the next day on Oct 1st I picked up another white keytag and haven’t picked one up since.

That choice I made to get help saved my life, gave me a life, and assisted me on finding a spiritual path.  I wanted to begin this new phase of my recovery on the original date that I made that commitment of love to myself.  I wanted to continue to detox myself of the what was keeping me from knowing my true health and I wanted to learn how to have a loving healthy relationship with food once and for all.

One of my dreams has been to do a juice “flush.”  It is technically not a fast because if it were a true fast I would not be eating any food.  This is the opposite.  Today I am on Day 5.  I never thought I would be able to make it through one day let alone 5 and that is including a 3 day pre-cleanse. My goal is 10 days but I am just taking it one day at a time for now.

On October 1st, 2011 I will have 6 years clean.  I plan on celebrating that day, JUICY!

 Life Re-Alignment

This forward movement towards repairing my health started a couple months ago when I started experiencing a pain in my lower back.  I had actually felt it months prior but it would come and go.  This time it wasn’t going and yoga was not helping.  I decided to visit my husbands chiropractor and after an extremely thorough examination including x-rays and very detailed explanations he diagnosed me with Sacroiliac Joint Syndrome.  Ooooh.  Sounds Intense. He also explained that my knees were misaligned and that was causing a misalignment in my pelvic area.  So now I get to wear specially made orthotics that are working on shifting my knees into their proper place so that everything else aligns.  That was enough use of the words misalignment and re-alignment for me.  It was time for a whole life re-alignment.  It was no surprise to me that this mis-alignment started in my teen years into my 20’s.

 In my 20’s

Life was so different in my 20’s.   In my 20’s it was all about how I looked and what I could get with my looks.  My self-worth was completely based on how I looked on the outside.  It didn’t matter what I did to my insides to obtain that outside beauty.  I starved myself, threw up, went on all those crazy fad diets, popped diet pills like candy.  Oh I had the looks going on outside but I was completely miserable on the inside.  I wanted to be that girl on the cover of the fashion magazine.

In my 30’s

In my 30’s everything has changed.  I am growing up…a little.  I am experiencing my first signs of bodily change and I am on a spiritual path.  I have shifted from focusing on the external so much to focusing on the internal.  I have realized that is where the true beauty and vitality come from. It is not just about looking beautiful.  Most anyone can look beautiful.  How long does that last?  I want my beauty to come from how I feel on the inside.  I want radiant energy, clear thinking, stable weight, and I want this because as the years go by and things continue to change I want to know my self-worth is strong enough to cope with the changes.  I want to know I can still feel healthy and vibrant at any age.  If I feel this good in my 30’s what are my 40’s going to bring!   I now want to be that girl on the cover of Natural Health Magazine.  She’s always glowing.  Hey I know it’s still photoshopped, but, you can’t photoshop out the inner glow.

Fat Sick and Nearly Dead

The other day someone wrote how they had to dislike the idea of me going on a juice flush to lose weight and was concerned about me doing it.  While I apprecitate the concern I had to respond by sharing that there is way more to this than losing weight.  The weight issue is not my intention for this.  It has helped me release the weight I did gain when I went through a short time of eating red meat and dairy again and for that I am thankful.

I have had many moments of awareness leading up to the start of this adventure.  One of them was walking through a Kroger Grocery Store one day after eating  sugar, caffeine, and wheat.  I was a walking zombie.  My eye focus was wacked, my thoughts were hazy, and my movement was slow.  As people passed by me I looked at them and they seemed to be looking and moving the same way.  People seemed to have a haze over there eyes and hardly noticed the person they were bumping or cutting in front of.  Was I seeing myself reflected back or is this because most people in the west are some part of Fat Sick or Nearly Dead.  It flipped me out.

My next moment was viewing the Documentary, Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead.  When I first saw ads for this movie I thought, “I am not watching a movie that is just going to make me feel bad because I know I could never do a juice flush.”  One day when I was sick I went onto NetFlix and there it was.  I downloaded it.  I listened to the universe and watched it.  Like so many others now it totally inspired me.  I was laying on the couch exhausted, hazy, and sick and watching these two men go from overweight, broken out skin, low energy, and pasty pale skin to balanced weight, vibrant energy, and a glow that I have not been able to get out of my mind since.  If they could “reboot” their lives so could I!

The Path to “Inner Juiciness” Begins

I took the time to really prepare for this life shift.  I did everything I could to set myself up for success.  I listened to the call of my soul and let it guide me.  I knew Joe the director and movie subject had left out the detox parts of this process.  If he put them in the movie I don’t know how many people would be as inspired.  Smart move Joe.  Having done cleanses before I knew exactly what to expect and planned accordingly. I gathered a support group and I decided this was the perfect opprotunity to put the tools of Kundalini Yoga for Addictive and Behavorial Issues to the test.  I used a 3 day juice/veggie yogic cleanse designed for drawing poisons out quickly.  I chose specific breathing techniques and meditations to assist with continued elimination of toxins, moving through addictive urges, and releasing subconscious beliefs that would afffect my shift.  I will share more about those tools in another post.

Other Peoples Fears

In one of my juicing books the author shared that when one goes through a juice flush or cleanse of any kind it can be an isolating experience.  I have to agree with the author.  So much of what we do in society revolves around food.  It is just how it is.  If suddenly I am not eating solid food then really why I am I going to put myself in the position of being surrounded by people enjoying food.  I do.  It is other people who feel weird about me being around while they are eating.  It is fine.  Cleansing is a very intimate time and calls for more time to be with self.

People not familiar with cleansing also tend to project their own fears about it on those who are cleansing.  I have found this also to be quite true.  People who know me know when I get called to do something I do it.  Peoples fears bounce off of me.  I have gotten remarks from people about this not being wise and being dangerous.  Um…1000’s of people right now are going thorugh a juice cleanse.   How I was eating before was more dangerous than what I am doing now.

From Juice Fasting and Detoxification by Steve Meyerowitz:

“Nothing is more nutritious than juice.  Imagine eating a meal of spinach, parsley, sprouts, tomato, cucumber, celery, radishes, green pepper, and cucumbers.  The normal state of our digestive system would be lucky to digest 70% of it.  But once you extract the liquid portion of these vital foods you can assimilate and absorb up to 99% of the food value even if you have weak digestion.”

Hmmm..would that explain why I am experiencing a healthy glow, clear skin, periods of sustained energy, and clear thinking for the first time in I don’t know how long?  I would say this is one of the best acts of self love I can do for myself.

Any Successful Change Needs To Begin With Strong Intentions

“Life is made up of moments and in every moment something great is happening. It is a matter of being aware enough to experience them.”

Here is another moment that has gotten me through this process.  I was standing in the juice bar line at Whole Foods a couple of days before I was to start the entry phase.  I was feeling absolutely sick inside.  I was sick of feeling bloated, sick of being tired, sick of my face breaking out, sick of my foggy thinking, sick of forgetting things,  and just sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.  I didn’t want to forget that moment.  I stood there and embraced everything I ws feeling because in that moment I knew I NEVER wanted to feel that way again.  It worked.  My intention to never want to feel that way again got me through the first few days.

When I was going through the headache I had some pretty harsh thoughts.  I was ready to throw in the towel and run for the nearest caffeine source to possibly give me some relief.  I closed my eyes and went back to that moment.  I remembered how I felt and I remembered why I was doing this.  I then saw myself as I intend to be and I pushed through.  I knew I had to do this.  If I went back to the familiar I would still be sitting in that place of sickness and ” What if”.  I have to pay the price for all of the things I put into my body.  Do I keep whining about it, going in circles, and stay in fear or do I push forward to dis-cover my vibrant natural self.   Change is not easy but it is part of life.  If we don’t change we slowly die.  Right now I choose life!

UPDATES

I will now be posting updates about my insights, awarenesses, and plans for after the juice flush for anyone who is interested.  I will also be sharing more about how the tools of Kundalini Yoga are making this process more efficient.  I will also be posting a video soon for a breathing technique that has helped me greatly move through these past few days…….

Great love to my fellow rebooters and anyone else who is moving forward in their lives clearing out the old no matter what that is for you!!!!

Here Is To Living Our Dreams!!!